I awoke in a cold sweat, laying on what felt like a swamp; my pillow completely saturated by my own drool. What the hell? I went to bed the previous night feeling completely fine. I awoke feeling like someone was stepping on my head. I was stuffed up and found out that I had acquired a nice cough to go along with it. Seriously? It has been 2 1/2 weeks of school and already I am sick? COME ON!

I rushed to the pharmacy and proceeded to spend $90 dollars on Cold f/x, Robitussin Night time, a bottle of vitamin C, a packet of Tylenol cold and flu daytime/night time, two boxes of Puffs Kleenex, a bag of Riccola cough drops, Neo-Citron and a bag of Skittles (just cause they are delicious). I returned home and spent the next 36 hours in a drug induced coma.

Now, I realize that getting sick is an inevitable evil; but seriously 2 1/2 weeks? Come on people! Cover your mouths, wash your hands! I mean if you are really that sick do everyone a favour and just stay home! No one wants to sit beside the person with the rudolph-red nose, the Kermit the frog voice (although that would be kinda cool), who is coughing like Snoop Dogg backstage.

I am aware that attending class is very important and neccessary for any kind of success, but do yourself and every one around you a favour and cuddle up on the couch with your favourite blanket, a box of kleenex and a bowl of chicken noodle soup; just lay there and watch re-runs of the Jersey Shore till you feel better. Your Profs will understand and your fellow students will appreciate it. I know I will.

The lights are off in Nozhem, I am laying on my back and breathing deeply.

“You have just got off the elevator and you have reached a white room; in the middle of this room is a table. On that table is a red rose, on the other side of this table is a door. You walk through that door and walk into your special place.”

I am not going to lie. I questioned what the heck I was doing here. I had taken Intro to Indigenous Theatre (INDG. 2110Y) because well… I thought it would be easy. When I was picking my courses I thought why not have a class that would be easy. I mean, how taxing can a class based on performance really be? I thought I could just galavant through the 3 hour class once a week and be done with it. Wow, was I ever wrong. This course ended up being the most difficult course that I took last year.  When I say difficult I don’t mean hard from an academia perspective. It challenged me in a whole different way.

I am very shy by nature (well, until I get to know you, then unfortunately I never shut-up). I spend more time listening than I do talking, I don’t dance, I don’t sing. When i’m forced to dance it looks like someone trying to escape a swarm of killer bees, when I sing it is often mistaken for a rendition of Rosanne Barr howling the American national anthem. As a result, I tend to keep that form of expression buried deep inside. Well, that is not an option in this course. You can’t hide in that class. It forces you to be comfortable with, well… yourself. This was something I struggled with, being comfortable in my own skin. I had trouble casting off the shackles of my own perceived self. I was my own worst enemy, little did I know how debilitating that was. How could I be the best possible me if I was burying pieces of myself? It took me almost the whole year but by the end of it I finally felt comfortable. Comfortable in my own skin, comfortable with what it was that I had to offer, regardless of whether they were strengths or weaknesses. It didn’t matter becasue it was me.

For me it gave me a space where I could create anything I wanted, a space where there was no judgment, it allowed me to be totally free, like a child with no preconceived notion of the burdens of the outside world. All that mattered was being, creating and living.

What I am getting at is that I highly recommend this course. I will never win an oscar, I’ll never perform on broadway but it changed me as a human being. I have taken what I learned in that class and applied it to not only my other courses at Trent but my life in general. I am a better person for having taken Intro to Indigenous Theatre and would hope that other people will walk to the edge of that cliff and jump. I promise all who take that leap will be pleasantly surprised where they land.

<Inhale>. Where are my classes? How many people are going to be in my class? What is my  prof going to be like? Am I going to recognize anyone? Do these jeans make my butt look big? So, begins another year of Trent and the usual anxiety that everyone feels (well, maybe not if your jeans fit properly).

Luckily, the first week of classes are over and I find myself a little more relaxed. I know where to go, I have met my fellow classmates, signed up for seminars, got my books, spoken with my profs and managed to see some familiar faces <and exhale>.

I came to Trent last year as a mature student. I had been out of school for a while (no need to get into exact times). Talk about being lost and nervous! Here was someone who’s only reading consisted of the sports section and who’s writing was limited to signing my name on the back of my paycheques. I was scared. What if i fail? What if I don’t fit in? What if I hate it? What if I am not smart enough? What if i’m so old that I can’t relate? What if…? What if…? Well, I got through it. No matter what problem i had there was always an outlet that had answers. Whether it was help with my essays, personal problems, or just questions in general. There is someone that can help you (yes, you). The best advice that I can give a new student is to ask. Their is someone that can answer it for you and if they dont have the answer they will find it for you. You are not alone! Here i am this year,  one year down and three to go and no worse for the wear and if anything a better person for having done it. I had my ups and downs just like everyone I think does, but, that is part of the experience. If it was easy everyone would do it!

Fortunately, for me I have had two amazing people take a chance on me this year. They have given me this oppourtunity to create this thing that you are reading. A blog. I have never blogged before, I have barely written anything for that matter! However, I have been given this oppourtunity to be able to express, well… what ever I want! They have given me free rein to write. For that I am thankful. i have no idea what this is going to become, what form that this will take or the quality of work that I will be producing. Please, bare with me!